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leveliconCloudburst2007-06-27 17:42:25
Ok, so I have to share this with you guys. Anyone who has worked in tech support should appreciate it, especially anyone who has done internet support. One of my friends from work started a blog as "the outage monkey." It's quite funny. Anyway, here's a list of things we deal with on a regular basis. (Note: Any words not kid-friendly have been replaced with asterisks. Most of you are creative enough to fill in the blanks though. XD)


If you have the internet...PAY ATTENTION!!!!

1. If you call your ISP about your lack of service, remember this, YOU DO NOT KNOW WHAT THE **** IS WRONG!!!!!

2. If you do not pay your bill on time, DO NOT ***** AT THE TECHNICIAN BECAUSE YOU DON'T KNOW HOW TO PAY YOUR BILL!!!! YOUR SERVICE HAS BEEN TURNED OFF!!!

3. If you are computer stupid, YOU SHOULD NOT HAVE THE INTERNET!!!! YOU WILL ONLY SERVE TO ANNOY THE **** OUT OF YOUR TECHNICIAN!!!

4. If you don't know what a router is, YOU DON'T NEED ONE!!!

5. No matter how you try to justify or explain it, YOU CANNOT PLUG YOUR MOUSE INTO THE BACK OF YOUR MODEM!!!!

6. Dell does not make your modem.

7. On that same note, Motorola does make your computer.

8. The answer to your phone number is either 7 or 10 digits, NOT YOUR **** LIFE STORY!!!

9. Contrary to popular belief, YOUR SERVICE WORKING WILL NOT BRING YOUR LOVED ONE BACK FROM THE HOSPITAL/BRINK OF DEATH!!!!

10. Outage means DOES NOT WORK!!!!

11. Yes, I found more space. (a 2nd blog post continuing the 1st one)

12. If you have a business, but no business account, I don't care, go cry about it.

13. If your voice over internet phone works, your internet works, your phone router sucks.

14. The 1st phone number I memorized was for Linksys.

15. Unfortunately, your computer does not come standard with the "Hey, I'm gonna **** up on you in 10 minutes" pop up warning.

16. Your internet shut down on you at this moment because this was the best moment to piss you off.

17. Don't apologize to me for being PC illiterate, trust me when I say I have helped people 1 million times more retarded than you.

18. Remember, your computer is a piece of technology, it will do what it wants, when it wants, no matter how loudly you can ***** at me through the phone.

19. How many **** times do I have to tell you to call back at 8 a.m.?

20. I still don't wanna hear your life story.

21. Remember that your computer is only as smart as the user, which in your case means you need a new processor.

22. If you can't find your start button, go to your room.

23. Yes mean yes, no means no, and click means ******* click!!

24. The more you *****, the more you cease to exist, not as if you really mattered in the 1st place.

25. And yes, we sometimes do put you on hold because talking to you makes our IQ drop.

26. Migraines CAN be sent over phone lines.

27. You make $100,000/year, congratulations, I still don't give a rat's ***.

28. Doesn't it make you feel like a ******* that your 5 year old knows more than you?

29. The power cord makes the lights go on and off, and is labeled "power".

30. If your service is through a cable company, no matter how much you want it to be, it's NOT DSL.

31. If you can't spell modem, no.....just no....

32. The wireless box IS THE **** ROUTER.

33. If you haven't figured it out, this blog is not for kids.



Also note, this is not intended to make fun of everyone that calls in. Just the ones who annoy us because they know everything and feel it's their job to take it out on us because their service doesn't work. The ones who don't listen and do the exact opposite of what we ask them to do. Basically, the ones without any common sense. XD

Yea, good stuff. And SOOOOO true. Kinda sad, isn't it? -.-;
Cherrii 2007-06-28 13:40:46 for the giggles Points: no
majorlita 2007-06-27 18:03:07 Good Post Points: yes
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